so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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