I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
