You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize