just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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