what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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