they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize