yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize