Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
