you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize