Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
