Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize