Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
