i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize