end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize