he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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