This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
