You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
