Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
