So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
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I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
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I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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