Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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