oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
