She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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