I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
