Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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