Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
