whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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