She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize