I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
