Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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