Whod you bang
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
