ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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