Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
