Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
