You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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