i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Congratulations! We have a period
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