I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
