About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
