the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
