I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
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