Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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