what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
