I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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