omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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