I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
