Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
