Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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