sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
