dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
