Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
handjob tips. give me some.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize