I'm gonna have a badass scar
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
