Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
