I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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