I cockslap morals
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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