Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
