I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
