I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
