I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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