I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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